THE HURT AND PAIN!

Last night i went out as I had a work function. I went to Karaoke and then out to a pub with one of my mates. I had already decided that i was drinking and this would be the last time i would drink until the end of the 12WBT.

So for lunch yesterday i ate Nandos chips. This was stupid! I regret it. I did it because i thought drinking is already stuffing up my healthy eating so it didnt matter what i ate. In my head i knew this was wrong but couldnt stop myself. How did i feel after i ate it? GROSS! I felt disgusting and bloated. I just wanted the feeling to go away. Its amazing how eating good for 3 weeks can show you how good you feel.

So i went out. Had an awesome time. Came home. Went to bed. Woke up and felt terrible. I threw up (which i dont normally do) and felt so incredibly sick. I had a splitting headache all day. I felt tired and my body hurt. I dont know why i did it. I guess i felt i had a "party animal" reputation to live up to. Silly me!

Tonight, i feel a bit better but still really dehydrated. I never get hangovers but today i did. I put it down to not eating dinner before drinking. Why didnt i eat dinner? Because i was still full from lunch. Thats one good thing to take from this - at least im aware when im hungry and when im not now. If people feel this way after every time they drink, it makes me wonder why you would drink.

Today i became aware that i actually do like it when i eat healthy. I like the way it makes me feel and look. From this day forward i intend to limit if not eliminate drinking from my life.

This may seem like nothing to you the reader but to me this is just another lesson learned on the journey that is my weight loss.

XOXO

Sar

UP AND DOWN....

Ive had a crazy few days at work...if it doesnt rain, it pours right???

Ive still managed to exercise - yoga last night and bootcamp this morning.

Tonight, whilst out shopping i started to feel down. Struggling with the my weight in my mind. I thought this is it, i can feel that im going to lose my will power and eat. Its what i do! I wasnt hungry and i didnt want to eat but felt that i needed to eat.

So i went home, removed myself from any temptation. Went home and did Yoga.

How do i feel now? AMAZING!

What did i learn? I CAN do this. Im STRONG and i have the ABILITY! And most importantly, im proud of myself!

XOXO

Sar

WHEN COMPETITIVENESS TURNS INTO OBSESSIVENESS...

Weigh in days for The Biggest Loser at work are Tuesday. Was scared about how i would go as last week i had only lost 100grams. Was a bit down on that but what got me through was that i felt skinner even if the scales only said a measly 100grams.

So im about to get on the scales. Im scared and anxious but i feel good. But id also felt good the week before and look what happened. I wonder if i should take my Pandora bracelet and wondered how much that weighed. I mean i do have 11 charms! Maybe i should tie my hair up. I wonder if it weighs more if you leave it down. I wasnt sure what to do.

I'd already put a lot of thought into my weigh in day outfit. I wear the same thing, every Tuesday without fail. I cant have clothes making me put on weight expecially when every gram counts.

I jumped on the scales, 1.4kg of fat gone! GO ME!!!!!!

I then took a step back and wondered when did i get so damn competitive?

Did it start as a child when i played sport, or when i was a teenager who was able to by my own things as i had a job or was it when i couldnt stand someone who is a bigger fan of P!nk than me that i had to go to as many shows as possible to prove my love for her!

This competitiveness has turned me crazy. For the first time in two years i went out and purchased some scales. I havent allowed scaled in my house before because i new i would weigh myself everyday. Well, since i got them its worse than weighing myself everyday. I weigh myself everything i go to the toilet. Sometimes i will weigh myself before and after going. Crazy!!!

I thought it was but now i just put it down as needing to do it. Its a consent reminder that i have a long way to go. I dont feel pressure when i jump on those scales, instead i feel satisfaction or determination. If the number goes up then it puts me into gear and reminds me that i havent exercised today or that i havent made the right eating choices. If it goes down, even only by 100g, it makes me feel the satisfaction that i am on the right path and i am making the right choices.

Today, i feel tired. This is an excuse! Yesterday, i did think about my excuses as part of Pre-Season Task 2 in the 12WBT and this came up as one. Today i realised i would not have exercised on this day we celebrate the nation we are (Australia Day) had it not been for Bootcamp. This cemented the fact that i need to ensure i do exercise "before life begins". I can always go back to bed afterwards, or go out afters. It doesnt matter. With the right exercise comes the right food choices. As if i exercise i feel bad about putting the wrong things in my mouth.

So on this journey i promise to myself that i will get up before MY life begins and exercise!!!

XOXO

Sar

WHEN SELF DOUBT KICKS IN....

So its been about 7 hours since in joined the 12WBT. Ive spent about 3 hours of that time in the forums writing to people.

This morning i felt alive, i felt i was on the cusp of a new beginning. Now im anxious and nervous. Why? Because the people in the forums are so dedicated to the cause. What if i let them down? What if for some silly reason i cant do it?

The truth - i know i can do it! But people always have self doubt but if you really want to get there you throw it out the window and ignore it. This is what will make or break people during the pre-season!

So for me - its only a moment, a moment that i want let get to me. I am strong! I am invincible! And most importantly - I can do this and I will do this!

XOXO

Sar

THE JOURNEY BEGINS TODAY....

I did it! I signed up for the 12WBT. This is my first major steps in losing the weight.

For those wanting to know, i want to lose 45kg to get back to the my once pristine self. Ive got this!

So, what have i done to prepare myself. I started a Biggest Loser comp at work, i purchased a "Goals Diary" from Kikki K and ive been trying to eat healthy for the last 3 weeks which has resulted in a drop in my weight by 3.5kg.

Im doing ok by myself but you can never have to much support. Hence, the 12WBT. You can get support from family and friends but sometimes the support of others who are aiming for the same thing can make you feel that little bit extra.

So, from today i pledge to write here to share the fun and triumph that i experience as well as the pain and hurt along the way.

Have Fun!

XOXO

Sar